For the Mama Experiencing Postpartum Depression

For the mama experiencing postpartum depression, 

It’s heavy, am I right?

You’ve given new life to this world and you’re not feeling joyful.

Instead, you’re feeling tired, overwhelmed, and just off. 

You feel this heavy sadness, but you don’t know what you’re sad about. You know you’re supposed to be happy; you just gave birth to a new baby. And, yet, you just feel like crying. 

You have no energy. No motivation to get up and get out of the house. (It’s easier to stay in those pajamas all day.) You haven’t seen the light of day in days, but you tell yourself it’s easier that way. You tell people it’s just because it’s too much work to try and pack a newborn outside of the house.

Perhaps you’re angry at your body. Maybe you had a premature birth and your body is to blame. Maybe your body is unable to nurse your baby the way it’s supposed to and it’s frustrating. 

You’re feeling a sea of emotions right now. You know you’re supposed to be over the moon because you have a new bundle of joy in your arms. But at the same time you feel hopeless and like there is no light at the end of the tunnel.  

You feel irritable and you’re snapping at your children and your husband. Really at anyone who looks at you. 

You feel guilty for feeling all of this. You feel like it makes you a bad mom. 

Well, let me tell you: you’re not alone. 

I’ve had to force myself to get dressed and wear something other than that nursing cami. I’ve had to force myself to get out of the house, even if just for a walk around the block with the baby in the stroller. I forced myself to go to daycare to pick up my oldest instead of asking my husband to do it so I could get out. 

I’ve felt the despair and the guilt – so much guilt – for feeling this way. For snapping at my husband for no apparent reason. For crying and screaming at my children when all they wanted was me. 

And do you know what pulled me out of the pit? 

The Word of God. 

I pulled that dusty Bible off the shelf and opened it (for the first time might I add) and dug into it. I read what He had to say about depression and anxiety. I read what He had to say about motherhood and womanhood. I read what He had to say about redemption and forgiveness. I refound my faith.

From there, I started reading other moms’ words. I started following blogs and reading about moms like me who had mental illness or just the typical mom who was fighting toddler tantrums and teething. 

I then started writing myself and here we are, friends. This is what brought me to you. 

See how He was able take something and turn it for good? It’s amazing how He does that. 

So, to the mother experiencing postpartum depression: I see you and your struggles. Do not give up hope. Reach out to someone for help and talk to your doctor because no mother should suffer in silence. If you need medication, there is no shame in that. If you need an uplifting word, turn to His. If you need encouragement, I’m right here (and who knows, maybe you’ll start writing yourself!). 

There is help waiting for you. There is hope. 

He will turn it into something good.

(If you are currently experiencing depression or have had thoughts of suicide, please reach out for help. You are not alone. There are doctors and counselors that God has given the gift of medicine and knowledge to that want to help you. God does not want you to suffer alone. Please call 1-800-950-NAMI to speak with someone at the National Alliance on Mental Health. And if you know someone who is experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts, please share this to spread the message.)