I Never Knew Until I Knew You

I never knew exhaustion and sleep deprivation the way I knew it in those first months of your life.

I never knew complete and utter fear until I held you in my arms; feeling the immense pressure of ensuring I never broke you or that the world didn’t harm you.

I never knew joy until you grabbed my finger with your tiny hands.

I never knew what my purpose was in life until your eyes met mine; feeling like I had a mission in life, and that mission was to love you, care for you, and lead you to Jesus.

I never knew how hard it would be. The worry, the decisions, and the daily struggle of it all. Motherhood would prove to be the most difficult thing, but also the easiest thing I’d ever do in my life. It was like breathing—that’s how easy it is to love you.

I never knew God’s love—truly—until I met you. I felt that unconditional love He has for us and I knew what it was like to be Him.

To love you.

To watch over you.

To see you fall and get back up.

To be completely wrapped up in every little move you made and thing you did.

To feel such joy when that little smile lights up your face.

To be in complete awe of His love and grace.

I never knew until I became “Mom.”

I never knew until I knew you.