There Is No Greater Battle Than The Battle Against Yourself

There is no greater fear as a mother than to have to stand over your child’s grave. 

There is no stronger cry than the wailing of a mother as her child’s casket is lowered into the ground. 

There is no greater pain than to know someone chose to end their own life and that you couldn’t change their mind. 

There is no greater battle than the battle against yourself. 

As someone who has battled suicidal thoughts and won, the guilt and questions that are left behind are a mountain. 

How did I not know? Why didn’t I see the signs? 

What if I could’ve saved this person? What if me just saying I survived it and it gets better could have changed the outcome? 

I pray to God every night for those that feel alone and I see you. 

I see how you have no self-worth, no self-love. 

Please remember that His love is steadfast and you can find refuge with Him (Psalm 36:7).

I see how you are fighting to get through day after day. To feel something uplifting at the end of every day, a small ray of hope. 

He will renew your strength and you will not grow weary (Isaiah 40:31).

I see you crying when you are alone and keeping it to yourself when others are around. 

He will turn your wailing into dancing and cloth you with joy (Psalm 30:11).

Depression can stray you from the truth – that you do matter and your story is not meant to be over with yet. 

Trust in Him with all your heart and look to him for truth and understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

Your story is not meant to be over with, it’s only just the beginning in fact. The author of your story is preparing you for something better, the light at the end of the tunnel. 

Because it does get better, oh so much better, my friend. 

There is no greater battle than the battle against yourself. 

But you don’t need to fight that battle by yourself. Please reach out to a family member, friend, counselor, medical professional, or even a stranger. Ask for help and share your story because you’re not alone. You matter and you are loved, and those who love you will help you fight this battle. 

I see you, friend, and I pray for you.

Let others help you fight this battle. 

~In Remembrance Of All Those Whose Lives Have Been Lost to Suicide